*PUNCHES A WALL* MY FRIENDS ARE SUPER ATTRACTIVE
*THROWS A CHAIR OUT THE WINDOW* MY FRIENDS ARE SUPER ADORABLE
*CLIMBS TO THE TOP OF A MOUNTAIN AND SWAN DIVES OFF OF IT* MY FRIENDS ARE GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE THEM A LOTTT
This deadass the funniest tweet ever.
STRAIGHT BOYS AT THEIR FUCKING FINEST
y’all realize these are relatively basic activities right. y’all are flipping shit because this person said “i want to have sex with you, but i also want to do other normal activities besides sex”. u do realize that is a very regular occurrence right. that u can have sexual feelings for someone and also want to spend time with them. this concept seems new to y’all.
I always forget that sports anime antagonists aren’t actually evil villains…because it’s just a sport.
[protagonist voice] it’s not just a sport *clenches fists* it’s my life
That’s fucking cruel
This isn’t fucking funny. My mom has been a waitress almost all of my life and for most of it we lived off of scraps. She worked hard every damn day being paid less than minimum wage to help raise us four kids. All of our meals, all of our clothing, all of our school books, our fucking rent was always paid by tips. Some weeks were better than others but we learned how to make our dimes stretch and now she is doing better, with a manager position where things are more stable for her.
Bakc to the point, don’t any of you ever, EVER FUCKING DO THIS. SPREADING THE WORD OF YOUR RELIGION IS FINE AND DANDY BUT DON’T TO IT AT THE COST OF A SINGLE MOTHER NOT BEING ABLE TO FEED HERSELF SO HER KIDS CAN HAVE A PLACE TO SLEEP AT NIGHT.
When Christians act like little fucks
I have had online discussions with the people who think this is in any way okay, and boy, was that frustrating.
One of my friends had a lovely solution to the thing where people offer you things like this: Don’t unfold it, don’t even look at it, just put it in your pocket and thank them profusely, explaining how you didn’t know where your next meal was coming from and you’d been praying, and God must have heard them because now you can buy food for your kids.
I swear I’m not even two minutes in and I couldn’t resist.
i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like
AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE
"THAT’S RIGHT TWAS I that set the house ablaze!!!”
john was never really good at smack talk…..
(animation by me and audio from Scrubs season 3)
Fun things to say when someone tells you they’re going to go to the bathroom:
- Stay safe
- That’s what they all say
- Different strokes for different folks
- I hope you have the time of your life
- But you have so much to live for
- Please explain
- think of me
- Don’t fall in
- I’ll alert the media
- Good luck
- Have fun
- Mention my name and you’ll get a good seat
•Hope everything comes out okay